Our ferocious watchdog puppy

About half a year ago we moved to a new home out in the country--our family now lives on six acres of field surrounded by woods, on a country road, in a small town. It seemed like the ideal location for a dog, particularly a watchdog, since although it’s scenic, it’s also isolated. Unfortunately, to get a dog you usually start with a puppy, and during these past six months I’ve often wondered if perhaps we should have taken our chances with a burglar. 

Certainly on the plus side, a burglar gets a zero. There’s nothing good about a burglar, aside from not having the bad attributes of a puppy. On the other hand, puppies have some good qualities—they are cute, playful, and above all, eventually turn into dogs, and dogs are great. However, puppies have lots of bad qualities too, and it’s those that makes me wonder what I was thinking when I decided that we needed a dog for this new homestead.

Reddit.com is a great place to waste time if you like humor, information, or just about anything else. For example, a few weeks back there was a question which asked “Redditors” what their ‘go to’ joke was, for instance at a bar or party. Most of the responses weren’t all that funny, and I’d already heard them, but one joke stood out. I thought it was one of the funniest jokes I’d ever heard, so called my 14 year old daughter in so I could read it to her. She laughed out loud at it and we still talk about it,  so I thought I was on to something. However, when I then tried it on my wife, Jen, she didn’t think it was one bit funny. I’ve since tried it on a number of people, and the responses are the same—it’s either really funny or not at all funny.

The problem for nearly every other company in the world selling to consumers is that Amazon is a nearly perfectly tuned fulfillment company. Meanwhile, other companies that should know better keep screwing up and losing customers to Amazon. Two recent, personal examples:

Walmart JNIT  (just not in time) inventory control: It's tough to sell from an empty shelf

World's worst campground

Thanks to the movie The Bucket List, creating a list of things you don’t want to miss doing in your lifetime is popular these days. Some people go so far as to actually accomplish what’s on their list. My mother, for instance, went zip lining on her 87th birthday, dragging me and the rest of the family along. I wouldn’t have chosen to do it if she hadn’t, but up there on that platform, 40 ft. in the air, I jumped off, because my 87 year old mother did…..and it turned out to be fun. However, I thought it would be much more interesting to create (and certainly easier to accomplish) a list of things I want to be absolutely sure not to do before I’m dead. I call this my anti-bucket list:

Haywire Marvin Heemeyer

Despite pulling off one of the most bizarre acts of revenge in modern history, and having a name custom made for a folk song, Marvin Heemeyer never became widely known or much of a legend.  He's known among the radical anti-government aficionados, but that's about it. Maybe he was too crazy, or just a victim of bad timing, but here’s his story:

A new season is on its way, but first.........

Even though it's been over six months since Super bowl LI, I still think it's the most amazing sporting event I’ve ever witnessed, and I can’t see it being surpassed, ever. But it also gave my cynical world view a knockout punch in the nose……I just don’t understand how it all happened without some sort of divine intervention. I mean, really? The game itself was incredible, and I know it's the Patriots, but things like this don't normally happen. The various plot lines, twists, and subplots leading up to it added so much drama into the game that if it were fiction, it would embarrass someone scripting the characters and plot for professional wrestling.

Question: What's the difference between a person who might have deflated some footballs and a football commissioner?

Answer: One is a low down bum who'll do anything to win, regardless of whether it’s fair, and the other is a quarterback with the Patriots.


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